


Below Destiny

by volleyball_crow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also Ennoshita Has Feels, Crack, Ennoshita Is Done With This Shit, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Mama Suga is Evil, Mostly Everyone Has Volleyball Feels, Papa Crow Daichi, So done, Sometimes Other People Have Feels, Struggles of the Weak-Willed, There Is A Lot Of Volleyball Indeed, but they mostly just watch the trainwreck unfold, he needs it, incredibly done, inspired most of this, just wants his birbs to be well looked after when he's gone, please love Ennoshita
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:26:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4426553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleyball_crow/pseuds/volleyball_crow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which Daichi tries to ambush Ennoshita to give him a suitably emotional speech about the joys of captainship, and Ennoshita will have absolutely <i>none of it, definitely not, not even if you payed me, thank you very much</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Below Destiny

 

Ennoshita was a good guy. Sure, he was weak-willed, and he could be selfish and a coward sometimes, but he was working on it. Wasn’t everyone like that? As far as character flaws went, his weren’t even particularly original. And just like everyone else, he did his best to correct them, so even his efforts to change were completely average.

To sum up: Ennoshita was a perfectly normal, perfectly average, generally good person.

(The circus troupe that made up the rest of his team, however, was another thing entirely- but let's not go into that yet.)

So, yeah, Ennoshita was a good guy. And as the good guy that he was, he _didn’t deserve this._

"Ennoshita! Good to see you."

The things about survival are that, one, you have to always try to see what is coming, and two, you have to accept there is nothing you can do to stop it sometimes. Ennoshita had a stern mother with a heavy hand and a slipper like a guided missile, what with the way it never missed the back of his head when she threw it in a fit of rage. He’d had a lot of opportunities to develop his particular method of surviving while growing up.

Now, after almost two years on Karasuno's volleyball team, it had been honed into a fine survival tool. And oh, what a learning process it had been.

Before becoming captain, for all his maturity and respect towards others, Daichi-san's hold on his temper had been flimsy at best. Then there was Sugawara-san's tendency to smile tenderly in the midst of chaos and hellfire, Nishinoya and Tanaka's existence in general, and the dangerous pranks their retired third-years had gotten up to. All in all, Ennoshita had given his survival skills a considerable amount of sharpening exercises. Which was another way of saying he'd feared for his life on more than one occasion. The wig debate from last year had been nothing - NOTHING - compared to the horrors Ennoshita had seen before, not counting old coach Ukai's training from hell.

Actual _fire_ had been involved at one point. Yeah, that had been an interesting training camp.

So these days Ennoshita's brain did a semi-constant danger scan of his surroundings, ready to leap at him at any moment with shrieking horns and bright red warnings of DANGER, DANGER, ENNOSHITA CHIKARA. And said brain alarm system immediately blared to life at his captain’s greeting words.

_'Good to see you'_ , he’d said. ' _Good to see you'_ , not ' _good afternoon'_ , or even a simple ' _hello'_. There was blood in the water, and if Ennoshita's survival instincts were reading things right, it was apparently his.

Bravery was overrated. He would work on his great sin of cowardice another day.

And so while he dropped his gym bag to the floor he contorted his face into an expression that said, _I’m in a lot of pain right now, but I’m trying to cover it up and put on a brave face for you, oh beloved captain of mine_. Then he turned around to greet said harbinger of death with a suitably tired voice. "Hey, captain."

It had the desired effect _. Maybe I’m actually a good actor_ , Ennoshita reflected as Daichi-san’s smile faded and his eyebrows scrunched into a frown, his previous cheer morphing instantaneously into worry. "You don’t look good, are you feeling alright?"

"I’m alright… just… feeling a bit off, I guess. It’s nothing, you don’t have to worry about it."

Of course he had to worry about it. "Of course I have to worry about it! If you’re not feeling well, go home. Ennoshita, you have to take care of yourself, practice can wait."

Ah, maybe he should feel a little bad.

*

Having successfully avoided his captain and whatever nasty business was about to come his way, Ennoshita arrived at school the next day feeling pretty good, all in all. Chances were that someone else, bless their soul and forgive Ennoshita for his sins, had suffered in his stead, and he was now in the clear.

He ran into Yamaguchi by the shoe lockers. The first year had already put on the school slippers but he still remained by his locker, doing something with his fingers to his right shoulder, a pinched look on his face. Knowing him, he'd probably told Tsukishima to go on ahead by himself and stayed behind to... do whatever it was he was doing. Was he hurt?

"What's wrong, Yamaguchi?"

"Ah, Ennoshita-san." Yamaguchi was startled. His hand dropped from his shoulders and he gave a slight bow. "Good morning. Oh, huh, it's just my shoulder, it's bothering me a bit since last night."

Ahh, that couldn't be good.

"Let me see. Where does it hurt?" Ennoshita approached, dropping his bag against the lockers.

"Hmmm, about here, I guess," he said, pointing at an area just below where the curve of his shoulder prolonged into his arm.

Ennoshita set his fingers there and pressed. "Here?"

"No, a little belo— OW. YES. There. Aannd, YEP OUCH, there too. Can you— _please_ stop— OW—"

"Hmm," Ennoshita hummed thoughtfully to himself as he pressed around, ignoring Yamaguchi's pained yelps while he felt around his shoulder for any swellings or abnormalities on his muscle. "Can you still move your arm alright?" he asked at last and let go of Yamaguchi, after a minute of poking around and finding nothing particularly worrisome, in his admittedly limited experience.

Yamaguchi looked grateful for the end of the painful exam and lightly massaged his poor shoulder as he answered, "Yes. It doesn't hurt that much when no one is stabbing me with their fing— um. I mean—"

Ennoshita ignored Yamaguchi's fluster as he nodded. "Doesn't look too bad, then, you'll just need to ice it. A little massage with that cream we have would also do you good, I'll ask Shimizu-senpai later. And take it easy on your arms during practice for a while."

"Ah. Alright," Yamaguchi acquiesced, seemingly subdued, but Ennoshita saw him look down and away with a distinctly guilty set to his shoulders.

Ennoshita raised an eyebrow at the insolent little first-year who dared try this stuff on him. "That means no more series of thirty serves in a row. Or even ten. And no spiking, I'll tell coach," he ordered perfunctorily. After a moment, he added a little more. "And I'll tell Tsukishima about it too, so he'll make sure you don't overdo it when we're not around."

That had his shoulders dropping immediately. "Oh," he said, sounding distinctly disappointed.

"What's that 'oh' for? Taking it easy doesn't mean you can't keep improving. Warm up properly and don't push too hard during practice. Work more with your lower body. Just because you're focusing on pinch serving doesn't mean you shouldn't improve your stamina and reception skills. Your footwork could definitely use some attention. Don't be in such a hurry to improve that you seriously hurt yourself. We have time."

"How do you know about the pinch serving? I thought only Tsukki and coach and Nishinoya-san knew..."

Ennoshita blinked. "Hmm? It's obvious, isn't it? All those serving drills...?" Sometimes with Nishinoya, but mostly alone, and all that time spent practicing jump serves? The series of thirty jump serves in a row were particularly conspicuous. Honestly it would be weirder if no one had noticed.

"Ah!" Yamaguchi cried, a little too loudly, looking like the possibility that his efforts were noticeable to everyone had never occurred to him.

Ennoshita snorted, then smiled at him. "You're doing fine. Don't mess it up now."

After that they went their own ways, heading to their respective classrooms. On the way to his own, Ennoshita happened to spot Daichi-san coming in his direction, and the relief he'd achieved after his successful escape the day before seemed to vanish in a second.

He tensed up when they passed each other, but Daichi-san just nodded at Ennoshita in greeting. And kept going, just like that. Once Daichi-san's back had disappeared from view in the crowded hallway, Ennoshita's shoulders suddenly relaxed like his strings had been cut, and he let out a breath he felt like he'd been holding in for a long time. Safe!

Haha. Hahaha. If only.

*

"Ennoshita!" Suga-san smiled beatifically at him one fine morning, a couple of days later. Ennoshita had thought he’d go down to the cafeteria right away and avoid the lunch time chaos. Sure, there was a pretty long line already, but it was nothing in comparison to what it could be like during the lunchtime human flood.

"Sugawara-san, good morning," Ennoshita greeted, his mid-Tuesday morning mood suddenly a lot more cheerful in the presence of this particular senpai. Suga-san’s smiles should have been officially listed as medicinal treatments. It was impossible not to smile back.

"Morning! What are you buying? I woke up late so I didn’t eat breakfast; I’m starving."

"Ummm, some bread, I think. I didn’t feel like making lunch last night, so. I thought I'd buy it now, while there's still a lot."

"You cook for yourself, Ennoshita?" Suga-san inquired curiously, a touch of approval in his voice that Ennoshita couldn't help but preen at a little.

"Ah, yeah. Mom doesn’t really have time for it. And that way I can pick only things I like, haha."

"Haha, that’s the perk of doing it yourself, I suppose. Pity today you'll have to do with cafeteria stuff, hmm? Speaking of lunch, do you want to come have lunch with me? Daichi has to go talk to the student council or something, and I bet Noya will drag Asahi off before he can get to our class room. You can bring Narita and Kinoshita!"

"Oh, sure. I’ll tell them," Ennoshita said, happy to oblige.

*

Suga-san beamed at him, while Daichi-san's small smile was all teeth.

Ambushed. He’d been ambushed. Lured into class 4′s room, and then Tanaka had stormed in and dragged Narita and Kinoshita away because "you guys _have_ to see this!", leaving a bewildered Ennoshita to sit down in front of a serenely smiling Suga-san. And then Daichi-san had come in.

He’d been led into a false sense of security by Suga-san’s sweet smile and completely let his guard down. What a dirty trick.

Suddenly he felt a little bad for ambushing Tanaka and Nishinoya bef— no, no he didn't. But it was still a really dirty trick.

"You going anywhere?" Daichi-san asked, and his smile kicked up a notch in the _you know what to answer if you know what’s good for you_ direction when Ennoshita tried to get up.

Ennoshita promptly sat back down. "No, no… staying… here. Right here."

"Thank you for keeping me company," said Suga-san, the filthy traitor, the angelic smile not wavering an inch from place. That's how he fooled people into briefly forgetting he was a sadist. Suga-san was _evil_.

"…no problem." Ennoshita sighed resignedly. Well, here it was. "Hello, Daichi-san," he greeted, hoping that didn’t just sound as flat and hopeless as he thought he did.

His captain sauntered over with a satisfied smirk. "Hello. So fortunate that I happened to see you now."

'Happened'to see him, he said. _What a lovely, not at all planned coincidence,_ Ennoshita thought somewhat bitterly to himself.

"I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something," Daichi-san went on. He paused there, let out an annoyed click of his tongue. " _Again_." Then he shook his shoulders as if brushing away his brief moment of annoyance, and continued with a brilliant smile, all shiny teeth. "Anyway, you probably have an idea what it is."

Ennoshita blinked uncomprehendingly up at him. Was he supposed to have a clue? Apparently he was supposed to have a clue. Ennoshita had no clue. No clues given here.

He must have looked it, because his captain and vice-captain turned to look at each other somewhat helplessly. Then Daichi-san made a jerky nod with his chin as he raised his shoulders, as if saying, 'what now?'

Suga-san frowned and jerked his head in Ennoshita's direction. Daichi-san straightened his back and looked reluctant, and to that Suga-san just stared at him expectantly with raised eyebrows. The mutual stare went on for a couple of seconds, with Daichi-san furrowing his brows more and Suga-san just waiting impassively. Ennoshita sat there whipping his head from left to right in an attempt to keep track of the silent battle. It ended with a final firm nod from Suga-san in Ennoshita's direction that had Daichi-san going rigid, then seemingly deflating, and finally grabbing a chair for himself with a heavy sigh. He positioned himself so that he was facing both Ennoshita and his vice-captain, sitting at the same table.

Daichi-san hesitated, then frowned, joined his hands on the table between them and leaned forward. When he spoke, his voice was a little lower than usual. "So… well." He cleared his throat. "As you know, even if we third years decided to stay and see the Spring High through, we are still going to graduate, and soon."

Graduation... third years... oh. Oh. Suddenly an idea of what the subject of this talk Daichi-san was so intent in having with him appeared in Ennoshita's mind. But... _surely Daichi-san wouldn’t…?_

Oblivious to Ennoshita's rising panic, Daichi-san went on. "…and so we have to start thinking about these things, like Coach said. We have some time until the preliminaries, but this kind of thing needs time. So I thought we’d talk now, get you used to it…"

He would. He really would. Ennoshita was getting the ‘sorry but I’m about to dump my position on you and run for the hills’ talk.

What to say? What to do? Ennoshita felt frozen in the middle of a world that was suddenly moving too fast, and he couldn't keep up.

_Volleyball gods_ , Ennoshita prayed desperately as he broke out in a nervous sweat all over, _I will practice that jump serve until my arms and legs fall off and start a strike against slavery, but for Kageyama’s knee pads_ , **_save me_**.

He wasn't actually expecting his prayers to be answered, but right then Tanaka and Kinoshita burst through the door in a hurry, only to grab Daichi-san up from his chair and hide behind him. Narita and Nishinoya followed right behind them, and dove behind Suga-san, muttering something about there being "teachers" and "hunting us, FREAKING HIDE ME".

"WE DIDN'T DO IT!" Tanaka cried.

"Well... NOT ON PURPOSE!" Nishinoya added, like that made anything better.

"We were just standing there," Kinoshita muttered into his hands, looking like defeat itself.

"I just wanted to eat my lunch in peace." Narita looked at Suga-san and Ennoshita, in a desperate bid for understanding.

Ennoshita found himself sharing a look with Suga-san, who clicked his tongue, exasperated. "Guys, what—"

"THE WIIIIG!" Tanaka wailed.

"Calm down, and start from the beginning," Daichi-san said, laying a firm hand on Tanaka's shoulder. "Now tell us what happened."

"Well, um— there were the guys from the basketball club, right. And we were having lunch."

"My omelet bento..." Narita sighed forlornly, like a heroine in a romance novel. Everyone ignored him.

Tanaka looked up at the ceiling like it was suddenly interesting beyond all measure, avoiding his captain's eyes. "And then, um. We overheard them bragging and stuff. Someone said something—"

Nishinoya raised an eyebrow at that. "You said they wouldn't know how to jump if their mother was flogging their asses with—"

"NOTHING! NOTHING. Hehe, Daichi-san, don't mind Noyassan, he's exaggerating. Anyway, then they said something back, and Hinata got really intense about it—"

"Serial-killer intense about it..." Kinoshita muttered with fear in his voice.

"Shouyou is very passionate." Noya confirmed, looking extremely proud about it for some reason.

"And some more words were exchanged—"

"Kageyama has a really dirty mouth." Noya sounded impressed. Ennoshita stared a bit incredulously at him.

"And then, huh..." Tanaka hesitated, and Daichi-san's hand clenched powerfully on his shoulder. By Daichi-san's side, Suga-san smiled. The two of them loomed over Tanaka menacingly.

"And then...?" Daichi-san prompted with a wide grin that would have had children crying, and Tanaka nearly so.

"Th-then they started throwing punches and the principal was passing by and I think Kageyama and Hinata bumped into him and Hinata somehow took off his wig and the basketball club guys accidentally threw it at an open window, and hahaha, what a coincidence, I guess it was the chemistry club and there miiiight have been a tiny fire, really small, kind of wig-sized..."

Ennoshita buried his face in his hands. They were doomed. They were all doomed.

"And then they were dragged to the principal's office and they want you to go there too now, right now, and he said something about a punishment for the volleyball team or whatever and pleasedon'thurtmeDaichi-san." Tanaka finished, cringing under his captain's death grip.

"They were WHAT. THE TEAM _WHAT,_ " Daichi-san yelled. "AND THEY WANT US THERE NOW?!"

"START WITH THAT!" Suga-san, a vein on his forehead popping angrily, hit the back of Tanaka's head.

The end of the explanation had everyone arguing loudly with each other, and that's when Ennoshita finally noticed the spotlight had shifted away from him.

An opportunity for escape, just like he'd been praying for! Maybe he should go to the chemistry club, see what could be salvaged... Yes, surely that was a thing that had to be done, right away, top priority, yep.

Throwing a mental thanks at the volleyball gods, Ennoshita slinked his way to the back of the class and set his eyes on the exit.

A vice grip seized his elbow, keeping him from moving. Nooo! He'd been so close! Argh.

Ennoshita looked back to find Daichi-san glaring at him.

"This isn't over."

"Daichi-san, I don't think you'll have time for this now, surely it can wait...?" with a wan smile, Ennoshita tried pulling his elbow out of his grip.

"You..."

"Daichi!" Suga-san called, and Ennoshita used the small distraction to free himself and hurried out of the classroom.

*

Classes for the rest of the day were a blur to Ennoshita. He couldn't concentrate on anything else, so he ended up thinking it all over, as otherwise he'd have no peace.

Daichi-san wanted to pass the captaincy. Daichi-san wanted to pass the captaincy to _him_ , Ennoshita Chikara. Wanted him to be responsible for Tanaka and Nishinoya, who had never seen a limit they hadn’t laughingly hopped across, and Tsukishima, who looked down at him like Ennoshita was a bug on the bottom of his shoe— no, like Ennoshita was a pimple on a bug on the bottom of his shoe. Well, truth be told he looked at most people that way. And Kinoshita and Narita would have already been a handful, those stubborn dumbasses, but Daichi-san wanted Ennoshita to somehow control _Hinata and Kageyama_.

Ennoshita had a hard enough time herding the foursome of extraordinary idiots into something like studying during exams, but doing that on a daily basis? And let’s not even speak about potential new first years. Karasuno somehow attracted all the weird ones. Or created them. There must be something in the water.

And all this with Ennoshita himself as the freaking captain? Madness. Utter madness.

He remembered their talk about who would be captain, after Ukai-san had brought it up with them. They had pointed at Ennoshita too, then. He'd managed to do away with that talk with a casual "well, it's not like we have to decide now", but he'd actually meant, "not me, not ever, no way". Being captain was not a position for a weak-willed person.

Somehow, even after that talk, it had never occurred to Ennoshita before that someone would have to be captain once the third years graduated. No, that was not quite right— he’d been perfectly aware of that for a while. What he had somehow not _really_ understood was that there would have to be someone else in their team that would have to round up those half dozen hooligans and convince them to play volleyball together and generally _behave_ once Daichi-san and the others left. They _needed_ Daichi-san. If Ennoshita became captain, how would they ever set foot in even just the preliminaries again? How would this team even stay together and not self-implode?

Kinoshita could probably do it. Narita— not so much. Besides them, the only other second-years were Tanaka and Nishinoya… But, surely someone else could do it too. He’d heard that giving important roles to younger, irresponsible kids helped them grow up and learn how to be more responsible and mature. Surely it would work with Kageyama— or, hell, Tsukishima. They were smart. They were both really competent players. Kageyama was a genius! Sure, it would be a little out of the norm, having a second-year Captain, but it was not unheard of, and Ennoshita was confident either of those two would be able to pull it off.

So… there were more options. Options that didn’t involve Ennoshita having to find himself with his hands on the leash of an uncontrollable beast. If confronted directly, Daichi-san would probably do that thing he usually did with words and somehow make Ennoshita agree, so he’d just have to… avoid the ‘talk’ altogether. Run away. Flee for his sanity. And force Daichi-san to pick someone else.

Good. Good. That was better. He had a plan now.

Ennoshita went through the rest of his day with a somewhat calmer heart.

*

As for the wig, when Ennoshita visited the chemistry club followed by the troupe of irresponsible idiots, he almost couldn't believe his eyes.

"Is that the wig," Ennoshita said, staring almost in awe, because surely it couldn't be this bad.

"That _is_ the wig," Kageyama confirmed.

"It doesn't _look_ like a wig," Ennoshita felt the need to point out.

"Sure it does. Under the black and green thing," Hinata said, matter of fact. Like, of course it looks like a wig under all the weird stuff and seeming post-torture remains of some kind of small furry animal, because it is, after all, a wig! So it must look like one. Hinata is the simplest person Ennoshita has ever met. Behold, the future of the Karasuno volleyball club.

"If it starts breathing, I'm outta here," Kinoshita bravely informed everyone from behind Kageyama.

" _How_ is that a wig?" Ennoshita tried again, as his previous questions hadn't yielded the desired information.

"It fell on the burner. That's the black part, probably," Tanaka said, poking it with a glass rod while Nishinoya observed from his perch on Tanaka's back.

"I gathered as much," Ennoshita said, swatting his hand away from poking the-the _thing._

"So it erupted into flames, and they panicked," Kageyama said. "Apparently they dumped it in some kind of weird solution."

"And that's the green part," Ennoshita said.

"That's the green part," Kageyama confirmed.

Then they all just turned to look at Ennoshita with expectant eyes.

Ennoshita sighed.

*

Ennoshita was a good guy, but even good guys do bad things sometimes. Without noticing, even. And so, _maybe it’s karma in action_ , he thought the next day at practice, when he heard Daichi-san clear his throat somewhere to his left during a water break.

In the middle of the court, Kageyama was chasing Hinata around with one of the water bottles, trying to overturn it down his back. Not a kind punishment to administer mid-winter, even if they were hot and sweaty from practice. _Someone should probably go get the mop_ , Ennoshita thought as he took a few gulps from his own bottle while he watched them bicker and chase each other around the gym like demented squirrels.

Next to him, Daichi-san chuckled. "They’re idiots, but they’re a fun bunch to be around."

"Yeah." Ennoshita agreed with a sidelong glance at his Captain.

"I‘ll miss this. Even if they’re a pain in the ass to look after."

So glad to see sentimentality had not clouded his captain's high school memories yet.

Ennoshita tried to keep his voice free of sarcastic undertones, and failed miserably. "The other day they got in an argument about who could climb trees better and ended up stuck in a tree for five hours. We had to call the firemen. When they got here they’d been expecting a pair of cats."

"Well..."

"They were still laughing when they left." Ennoshita raised an eyebrow at his captain.

"I did say they’re a pain in the ass to look after."

"…huh. Yeah you did." he conceded. Thinking he should probably go get that mop, Ennoshita put down the water bottle and took a step away, ready to flee. But his hasty escape was cut short by a heavy arm falling down around his shoulders. Like a rabbit trap.

"You know, Ennoshita, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. They really need someone competent enough to look after them."

Oh no. Ennoshita couldn't move a single muscle, but he looked around frantically, hoping an opportunity for escape would present itself.

"Someone that has a little experience with that already."

No no no no.

"You'd be a great captain, you know, Ennoshita..."

There it was, oh god.

_"No thank you,"_ he blurted out.

Pause. Now he'd done it.

Daichi-san stared at him for a few seconds. "Why not?!" he exploded at last with indignation.

Might as well say it. "Because I don't want to be captain." Ennoshita replied crisply.

"Why wouldn't you want to be captain? Being captain is awesome. Everyone wants to be captain."

"I'm not actually an idiot, Daichi-san." Ennoshita spoke again without thinking, because he was an _idiot with a death wish._

It was a very, very stupid thing to forget who exactly he was talking to when he was dealing with his captain. This was the guy that last year had had third-year bullies disappearing from sight with a squeak at a mere hint of his presence.

_DANGER, DANGER, ENNOSHITA CHIKARA_ , Ennoshita's faithful brain alarm helpfully supplied in neon red when Daichi-san's entire demeanor darkened and the arm around his shoulders tightened its hold. "Ennoshita..." the captain growled, something that was a lot more terrifying than usual considering how close they were.

_Awfully sharp teeth_ , Ennoshita's brain helpfully pointed out.

"I have an idea how much work it is." Ennoshita clarified quickly, as a chill went down his spine. Maybe adding some essay-adequate talk would be more convincing. "I feel neither motivated nor capable enough to handle the responsibility." he hurriedly added.

Pause again.

Then Daichi-san narrowed his eyes at him. "Ennoshita, I can see you're trying to weasel your way out of this in a way that makes it sound reasonable. I'm not going to let you."

An inhuman shriek pierced the air.

And then there was chaos: everyone was yelling, running around, gathering around something on the floor. Ennoshita and Daichi-san hurried over, urging everyone to calm down and step back, to open up some space.

The huddle of people cleared away, revealing the usual troublemakers.

"I didn’t— I didn’t mean to," Hinata was stammering, almost in tears. Beside him, Kageyama lay on his side, eyes closed in pain, bloody hands covering his mouth and bloody smears all over the floor next to his face.

"Kageyama, let me see," Daichi-san said, gently prying away one of Kageyama’s hands.

Seeing that handled, Ennoshita turned to Hinata, who was now hiding behind Suga-senpai. "What happened?"

"I— I don’t know, he was trying to grab me and I tried to keep him away with the ball cart and I pushed it and-and I think he tripped or I made him trip or I— and he hit his mouth against the side of it, and— blood— oh god he’s going to kill me, he’s going to kill me, is he going to be alright? I’m dead, I’m dead—"

"No, no, Hinata, it’ll be fine," Sugawara-senpai hurried to comfort him. That was good, they didn’t need Hinata throwing up from nervousness or something. Not that it was unwarranted; Kageyama _would_ kill him later. Metaphorically speaking.

Daichi-san caught his eye as he grabbed Kageyama's arm. "Ennoshita, help."

And so he was summoned to help move a still-dizzy Kageyama to the bench. Kiyoko-san hurriedly cleared it of water bottles and towels to give him some space. Takeda-sensei hovered close, wringing his hands, but he calmed down at coach Ukai’s awkward shoulder pat.

Ukai-san knelt in front of Kageyama with an ice pack in his hands.

"Yo, champ. Let me see the damage."

"Eef find, eef jush mah leef."

"How is it fine?! Shut it and let coach see, you dumbass," Daichi-san growled, and delivered a tiny slap to Kageyama’s shoulder.

Ennoshita sighed in relief. If after looking at him Daichi-san thought he was well enough to warrant minor violence, then it was probably nothing serious.

After a few pointed questions, a little poking around, coach’s relieved sigh and "you just bit through your lip, everything else is fine" a couple of minutes later confirmed it, and the entire team breathed collectively.

He felt a nudge to his side, and looked around to see Kinoshita hovering close. "Shouldn’t we get the med kit? Where is it?"

"Ah, I’ve got it. Kiyoko-san, where is the med kit?"

"I’ll get it."

"No, it’s heavy, I’ll get it."

And that’s how Ennoshita found himself kneeling in front of Kageyama, ignoring their genius first year setter’s flailing as Kiyoko-san disinfected his wound and tried to contain the blood that just wouldn’t stop flowing. Ennoshita helped, and near the cart Yamaguchi and a pale Hinata cleaned up the smeared blood on the floor. Takeda-sensei sat on the bench next to Kageyama, clearly relieved but still looking a little worried, his eyes huge behind the thick glasses.

"Sschhenpahee, you don haf—Ah can doo eet mahsef—" the idiot first year tried to protest.

"Kageyama, shut up and let Shimizu-senpai do this. Do you even know how much you’re bleeding, it’ll get everywhere if you’re not careful."

"Buut—"

"Nope!" Ennoshita said with perhaps a little too much glee as he grabbed a piece of cotton and dabbed at Kageyama's mouth forcefully.

"Ow!"

"Ooops. Maybe you should stay still," he smiled, not in the least bit cowed by Shimizu-senpai's disapproving frown.

"Hey!" Kageyama protested, indignated.

"Is it really okay…?" Takeda-sensei ventured meekly.

"Sensei, Kiyoko knows what she's doing, and we've all had a bunch of busted lips ourselves." Daichi-san said, handing over some more cotton.

"Yes. This area bleeds a lot. It’s normal." Shimizu-senpai replied absently, busy with handling the cotton balls and the alcohol. Meanwhile, Ennoshita dealt with Kageyama’s flailing limbs. Kinoshita helpfully grabbed an arm before it made contact with Ennoshita's head, and smiled winsomely at the first-year's glare.

"You should still drop by the hospital before you go home, though." coach Ukai added as he approached again. "Just to be safe."

In the meantime, Suga-san had worked his calming magic. With coach Ukai’s directions to follow, the commotion soon died down. Practice was resumed— minus Kageyama, who had to be tied down to the bench with a belt to ensure he stayed put.

And with all that, the volleyball gods be praised, Daichi-san seemed to completely forget about Ennoshita and speeches about being captain and the joys of leadership.

Ennoshita, for his part, changed as quickly as he could once practice was over and headed to the nearest shrine, dragging Narita and a grumbling Kinoshita behind him.

*

The next day they had morning practice. Whoever had come up with the idea clearly did not understand that 90% of the population were not morning people, and as such this constituted cruel and unusual punishment - or so Kinoshita assured him as they changed before practice.

Ennoshita would usually have been more sympathetic, but he was too busy dreading the moment Daichi-san would approach him again. If Captain tried again, it would mean the previous day's talk hadn't been just a mere idle thought or some crazy idea he'd regret the next day. It would mean the hunting dogs were out and would only stop when they closed their teeth around Ennoshita's poor, helpless self.

"You okay?" Narita asked with a frown, breaking Ennoshita's head-first dive into self-pity and increasingly gory pictures of death at the mercy of pointy Sawamura teeth.

In the background, Ennoshita's instincts helpfully supplied a fitting accompaniment of low-key red danger lights.

"Huh? Yeah, I’m just tired. Morning practice, _really?_ " Ennoshita let out a deep sigh, hoping it would stick. He couldn’t exactly tell them _the danger scan in my head is telling me shenanigans are about to happen and I’d really rather, you know, not_. And he doubted the clichèd _I have a bad feeling_ would work much better. "Did we do something to piss them off? Innocent people shouldn’t have to suffer like this."

"I know!" came the outraged agreement from Kinoshita.

"Hahaha, good to see you guys so lively already at this hour!"

Ennoshita felt the small smile he‘d been unconsciously wearing freeze on his face. He slowly turned his head with dread to see Daichi-san standing behind Kinoshita and Narita. Their captain slapped their backs heartily and beamed at all three of them with a brightness that at this time of day was, frankly, infuriating.

"And you guys get along so well, don’t you, Ennoshita? Ha, ha! Good, good!" he said.

A weird comment to make, but whatever.

"We’ll have fun this morning. Let's have a good practice. Ah, and after that, En—"

Sirens, sirens in his head, red warnings in neon shining bright everywhere. Think fast, think fast. "Oh! We should probably go refill the water bottles before everyone else arrives, right?"

Daichi-san blinked, looking a little surprised at Ennoshita's sudden burning need to go fill water bottles, right away, no time to waste. "Ah, yes…"

"Alright, I’ll get to it then! Water bottles, yep, I’m going."

He grabbed the container with the empty bottles and left at an even pace instead of running screaming out the door. He was very proud of himself.

 

*

After that, Daichi-san seemed to correctly come to the conclusion that Ennoshita was avoiding him. Not that it would take a genius to figure that out, as every time they seemed about to be alone together, or Daichi-san started saying something to that effect, something unspecified but incredibly urgent suddenly came up and Ennoshita slinked away with a vaguely panicky look.  
  
Subtle, he was not.  
  
If only it had ended right then. But Daichi-san was Daichi-san, and if you asked him what "giving up" meant, he'd probably ask "What is that? Is it tasty?"

 

*

Suddenly, Daichi-san seemed to pop up everywhere. Like that one time before practice:

Ennoshita approached the cart and then yelled and fell back on his ass when something shot up from behind it.

"Ennoshita! I was looking for you!"

"Oh my god!" If his heart could scream with fright as well, it would have. As it was, it just drummed painfully against his ribcage in an effort to leave him for quieter sceneries. Ennoshita and his heart were not made for this stuff. There was a reason he only ever did action and fantasy movies.

"We should finish that talk." Daichi-san said earnestly. "Have you thought some more about being captain? Feeling up to it yet?"

"Don't just suddenly appear like that! I felt like my heart exploded for a second there." Ennoshita panted with one hand on his chest.

"You didn't answer my question."

"You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"That's not an answer."

"I said no!"

*

After a post-class talk with a teacher:

Ennoshita turned around and then jumped about a foot in the air.

"Teachers like sports captains." Daichi-san said from where he was leaning against the wall on one shoulder, casual as if they were simply continuing a conversation that had been briefly interrupted.

"Were you listening?"

"I was waiting for you." He'd definitely been listening.

"Don't the third-years have math nex-"

"It's a self-study period, actually. I wanted to talk to you. As the volleyball team's captain, your teachers would-"

"I really have to get going..."

*

After practice:

"Being captain is such a wonderful thing. That feeling of joy, the rewards of leadership-"

"I'm going home."

*

If the rest of the team noticed the tension between Ennoshita and Daichi-san, no one asked anything. And if he could, Ennoshita would it keep it that way. Nobody else needed to know about this.

*

In the meantime, his newly-acquired stalker aside, life and school went on. And the preliminaries for the Spring High were coming ever closer.

Practices were tougher than ever - after being absolutely trounced during the summer training camp with Fukurodani, Nekoma, Shinzen and Ubugawa High, their regular practices seemed to have stepped up quite a few notches.

Everyone seemed caught up in their own training, and gradually, the effects were starting to become visible. But their first year wonder duo seemed to be having trouble. More than before, that is - they'd decided to train separately a while ago, but for the past week Hinata had been looking glum, and Kageyama had been stalking around looking more like a pissed off cat than usual.

Well. Truth be told, that was not very different from his normal look. Rather, these days he looked like someone had grabbed him by the tail and dragged him into a shower, and he was walking around with his fur wet and extremely pissed off.

It would probably be fine. They'd made it through tougher obstacles before. Ennoshita didn't even know why he was worrying about them. There was no need to fret like a mother-hen.

One afternoon while over at Tanaka's - _someone_ had to make sure Nishinoya didn't fail English, and that Tanaka passed the next kanji test - Kinoshita nudged his side.

"Are you that worried about them?" he whispered without looking away from his notes.

"Huh?"

"That fugly-looking doodle you've been working on for the past hour kinda looks like Hinata." Pause. "No, no it doesn't, I lied. I have no idea if that's supposed to be human-shaped, even. But the KAGEYAMA TOSS TO MEEE speech bubbles are a dead giveaway."

"Ah."

Kinoshita nudged him again.

Ennoshita laughed awkwardly, and ruffled the hair at his nape. "I'm not _worried_ worried. They haven't even argued, and they're still trying practicing their combo move really hard. But did you notice Hinata at practice lately? And Kageyama didn't say anything when I talked to him. I'm not sure... I'm just..."

Ennoshita was a mess, is what he was. There was schoolwork and practice and more schoolwork, and Nishinoya couldn't spell a six-letter English word without seven mistakes and Hinata looked like a deflated balloon and _Daichi-san wanted Ennoshita to be captain._

He hadn't even dared bring it up with Narita and Kinoshita. He wasn't sure why. Maybe because he was afraid they'd agree, like they'd done that time Nishinoya had suggested picking Ennoshita for captain. Even now, he still didn't get it. Ennoshita was just _not fit_ to be captain. He couldn't handle the crazy. He _knew_ he couldn't handle the crazy.

Keeping it to himself was probably adding even more to his stress, but he just wasn't ready to talk to them yet. Or ever. As far as Ennoshita was concerned, if the less they knew about this, the better.

Kinoshita made a mock-thoughtful face, hitting the tip of his pencil against his chin. "Let me see, I've got the word for that right on the tip of my tongue, ahh, what was it? Ah, yes, I believe the word you're looking for is 'worried'."

"You're not funny."

"I am hilarious, you just can't appreciate my genius." Next to him, Narita snorted. "Shut up, you. Anyway. Ennoshita. What are you going to do about it?"

"Ehh. I'm not sure I should do anything about it. They'll sort it out between themselves soon, probably."

"Really?" Kinoshita raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"...I'll talk to Hinata."

"You do that. You'll feel better. He'll feel better. Kageyama will probably be annoyed by something. Everybody wins." He gave Ennoshita's back a few hearty pats, then raised his voice back up to a normal level. "Now, I think it's been half an hour, should we wake them up?"

"Ooooh, let me." Narita said with glee shining in his eyes, and let the heaviest books they had fall on the table not five inches away from the noses of the snoring duo. The explosive BAM startled Tanaka and Nishinoya awake and resulted in the most epic crashing of foreheads the world has ever seen.

Ennoshita may or may not have surreptitiously made a Vine.

*

When Ennoshita first approached him, Hinata acted more or less like a frightened rabbit. A kind of orange, extremely athletic rabbit. He started looking around like he was afraid Kageyama was going to jump out at him from behind a classmate, then grabbed Ennoshita's sleeve and dragged him to a quiet corner behind the second gym.

Once there, he let go and went to sit against the wall with his knees gathered tightly to his chest in a defensive little ball. Like that, he looked even smaller than usual. A little bit at a loss for what to do, Ennoshita ruffled the hair at his nape and then went to sit next to Hinata, mirroring his position, and was pleased to feel the first-year lean into his side. The days were getting colder; it felt nice.

It took Hinata a while to get started, but once he did it all came pouring out. There were none of the usual "gwaaaah!" and "kawooosh!" noises, and Hinata mostly talked into his knees.

It wasn't unexpected, but it turned out that Kageyama was the problem. Of course. With Hinata, when _wasn't_ Kageyama the problem?

"It’s like he keeps thinking people will disappear on him. I was thinking, maybe it's because of the thing with his teammates in Kitagawa Daiichi or something... but he said," and here Hinata brought his hands up to flatten his hair down and furrowed his brows almost comically. "'I'm fine. I'm totally fine. I'm fine with it now'" he quoted, in a frankly good imitation of Kageyama. That seemed to relax him, and when he lowered his hands he finally looked back at Ennoshita with a small smile. "And then Tsukishima said something about being a selfish King again, and he lost it."

"Huh. So... no issues there," Ennoshita commented without thinking.

"How do you mean?" Hinata looked at him blankly.

"Nothing, forget it. So you think he's still having trouble because of what happened back then?"

He was actually kind of surprised Hinata had thought of that. It was to Hinata's credit that not only did he understand this huge difference between the two of them, but that he actively considered it when thinking about the setter. Hinata usually didn't think about things like this too much, and tended to let it go with an "I don't get it".

"Well, yeah. He keeps doing that thing where he stares at us and then stares at his hands and looks blank. And then his sets are off for a while. And Yachi-chan says he's been moping around the hallways during breaks, like the big moper he is. Since he's not tossing to me for now." Hinata scratched his chin and looked a bit embarrassed. "And he's sad. I don't like it."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

Hinata just stared at him skeptically.

Right. These two only had two modes of communication - and since they weren't playing together at the moment, arguing was the only one left. And even Hinata knew that wouldn't work here.

Troublesome first years.

Ennoshita ran a hand through his hair, wishing pulling on it would help for once. "You know," he said at last, after turning over the problem in his head, and feeling uncomfortably like he was maybe baring himself here, "if that's really what this is about, then I think it's probably something Kageyama has to sort out for himself." Coming to terms with his own weakness and deciding where he wanted to go from there was not something someone else could do for him.

"That's... really not what I wanted to hear, Ennoshita-san," Hinata said, and bit his lip.

Ennoshita snorted. "I know. But if Kageyama's brooding about that again after all this time, then it's likely something that he really has to sort out inside himself that he hasn't yet, and maybe he feels like he has to do it now. Sometimes it takes a while." He would know.

Hinata nodded slowly, clear eyes going serious, and then frowned. "So there's nothing I can do?"

Ennoshita thought back to how Kageyama had been when he'd first stomped into the gym with Hinata, and to how he was now. The probable cause of most of those changes had red hair and an insane jumping ability and Ennoshita was looking right at it. He couldn't help but smile fondly down at him. "Honestly, I think you're already doing what has to be done. Stay with him. Play with him. Keep practicing, so you'll get better, just like he's doing. Don't let him improve on his own."

"Huh. I see... that makes sense. Yeah, I can do that. Thanks!" he grinned brilliantly. "You really have a knack for this, Ennoshita-san. Even though you're such different people, you came up with a solution, WHAM! Just like that!"

"Haha, don't say that, we don't actually know if I'm right. And you did pretty well yourself. Sometimes even just trying to understand helps, you know." he couldn't help but raise a hand to ruffle Hinata's hair fondly. "You're a good friend."

"Heh. You think so?" Hinata blushed a little, embarrassed but clearly pleased by the praise. He playfully tried to bat Ennoshita's hands away from his head.

"Yeah. Just don't let Kageyama forget he has someone who can play with him now - a team full of someones, actually. And that most of us won't just up and vanish into thin air on him."

Hinata's eyes suddenly sharpened into a serious look. He stopped trying to slap away Ennoshita's hand, and instead gripped his wrist with such strength Ennoshita felt a little thrill of unease. " _None_ of us." Hinata said, like he was willing the words into carving themselves in Ennoshita's mind.

"Huh?" Ennoshita replied intelligently.

"You said 'most of us'. That's not right. None of us would leave right now. I'm sure of that."

Ah. Ennoshita could feel the familiar ache of guilt stabbing into his heart. He sighed. "Hinata..."

"You keep doing that, Ennoshita-san. You say things like 'most of us' or apologizing when you don't make really, really, reaaaally tough receptions totally perfect, or calling yourself things like 'weak' and 'disgraceful'. That's not how I think of you at all."

He was a little taken aback at Hinata's sudden vehemence. "You— I told you about that time with Ukai-sensei, right? I know I did."

"There it is! You're doing it again!" Hinata jumped about a foot above Ennoshita, seemingly out of frustration, "Well, you came back didn't you?!" he shouted, right up against Ennoshita's face.

"Eh... well..." Ennoshita could only stare back into Hinata's accusing gaze, milimitres from his own.

"You're my senpai, and I really, really respect you! You're nice and you're really smart and your reception skills are miles above mine and you always cheer for us even if you don't play very often." Ouch. Hinata went on obliviously, "And you're part of our team, aren't you?"

He was. Being anywhere else, doing anything else, was just not... something Ennoshita could do. And lately, with the arrival of all these ridiculous first years, he felt more a part of the team than ever before, somehow. Even if sometimes he still remembered that time of idleness and regret and felt like part of him was still, impossibly, stuck there... right now, he definitely was part of Karasuno, with all of them.

And anyway, it was impossible to say anything that would make that bright, hopeful face crumble. "I... yeah." If his smile was a little rueful, it didn't seem to bother Hinata. "Yeah, I am."

Hinata's face broke into a smile so bright he really did remind Ennoshita of the sun. "Anyone who wants to play volleyball can't be bad."

As expected of someone who followed the gospel according to volleyball.

Ennoshita couldn't help it, he laughed.

*

After leaving Hinata, Ennoshita headed back to his own classroom, and just as he was about to go in, his stalker found him.

"Being a responsible senpai sure feels rewarding, doesn't it."

Honestly, did the man have some kind of spy network that told him where they were and what they were doing at all times?

"Are you seri **—** "

"Being captain would be like that all the time, you know," Daichi-san informed him in a tone of unsubtle persuasion. "One of the great things about being cap—"

"Daichi-san, the bell is about to ring, I have to go—"

" _Ennoshita_." the harsh way he said had Ennoshita stopping in his tracks. "You can't avoid me forever."

"Haha, I'm not avoiding you." Blatant lie with the most awkward smile in the history of ever! Good going, Ennoshita Chikara! "I just really have to go."

"Yes, I've heard that before. It's either that or you forgot your homework or you have cleaning duty or there's an essay you have to write or serves you have to practice or someone absolutely needs you for something, and you don't even have time to stop and look me in the eye an—"

"DAICHI-SAN."

Too late, the words had escaped his lips, and so loud the surrounding students crowding the hallway stopped and stared at the two of them.

In the sudden stillness, he noticed Suga-san and Asahi-san only two classrooms away, staring at them too. Kageyama was in front of them, staring over his shoulder, while Hinata peeked around him.

The moment of silence only lasted a few seconds, after which everyone studiously went back to their affairs and carefully didn't look in Ennoshita and Daichi-san's direction. But clichè as it was, it had seemed to last an eternity. His heart drummed like crazy in his chest.

Ennoshita bit his lip but didn't apologize for his rudeness. "Daichi-san," he repeated in a more reasonable tone. But then no words came out. He worked his jaw a couple of times. Nothing still. He ended up settling for a dry, "Class is about to start."

Later that day at practice, Ennoshita ignored Daichi-san's narrow eyed stare glued to his back, and tried not to notice how Hinata nervously skipped around him with overly forced cheer.

*

Considering the situation, Ennoshita probably should have been expecting it, but he was still surprised when Suga-san messaged him a request to meet up that Saturday.

He could have said no. He had been _about to_ say no, well, make an excuse of some sort, when his phone pinged again in his hand with a simple beseeching, "please?"

Well, damn.

*

They sat down on a park bench, watching the wind play around with the fallen leaves with their crappy vending machine coffee, the cups hot in their hands. Ennoshita took a sip and made a face. Should have added more sugar.

"You wanted to talk?" Ennoshita prompted after another too-bitter sip.

"Ehhh, what's with that?" Suga-san chuckled. "Is this a business meeting? Are we the bad guys in one of your movies, meeting up to discuss our evil plans? You sound so serious."

"Oh! Um, er, sorry. Suga-san." Ennoshita could feel his face heat up despite his best efforts. He tried to cover it by taking a large gulp of his coffee, which burned his mouth and then he couldn't breathe.

"Hey now!" Suga-san started patting his back gently as Ennoshita coughed and coughed. "Are you alright?"

"Sorry. Sorry. I'm fine."

"Haha, you don't have to be so nervous. Don't kill yourself on my account."

"I... have no intentions to."

"Good, because we haven't even talked yet."

"Good thing I survived the evil coffee."

"Yes." Suga-san smiled a little, but it faded as he looked away, then up at the darkening sky. "You know, I think we have a lot in common, you and I, when it comes to volleyball, at least.

"We're decent players, but not particularly good. We're level-headed, but not extraordinarily stable. And we're surrounded by geniuses and much more capable players, so we don't get to play much in official matches, either."

"That's... that's certainly true. Do you really have to say it, though?" Ennoshita's pride was a small, injured animal as it was. There was no need to keep hitting the poor creature.

"But we're still here."

Ennoshita looked at him.

"If there was truly no value in us being here, do you think we'd be clinging to this sport and this team the way we are? I'm pretty sure something would have happened that would have made us quit, or we'd have found something that attracted us more. I mean, Karasuno wouldn't be our priority, not just for ourselves, but for the team itself. We would have come to think it would be better for them if we weren't here.

"But we're still here. I can't help but think that it's because, deep down, we know there's something valuable in us for this team. We're not dead weight. We're not just 'weak links'. Even if it's just as a last resort measure, or an unfortunate substitution, there are things only we can do."

Ennoshita just looked down at his hands, unable to look directly at Suga-san any longer.

"Of course, some people won't understand." Suga-san chuckled to himself. "Look at my case. A lot of people probably look at me and think 'poor 3rd year, whose place was taken by a 1st year, he barely ever gets to play'. Don't even try to deny it, Chikara, I know they do. But I don't think they understand. It's not about that."

It isn't? Aren't they all in this to get that one moment on the court when they grab the points from under their opponents' noses? Ennoshita opened his mouth to say something to that effect, but Suga-san cut him off before he could even start.

" _I want to play,_ " Suga-san said, a little choked up with emotion. "I want to play with Daichi and Asahi and you and our first years. I want to win, with this team. I want to play more volleyball. And I will do whatever it takes to get that. _I_ decide what matters to me. Sure, a lot of the time I won't get to play in an actual match. But I definitely will, at one point. I know that. I _will_ be needed. And once I step into the court, the way I got there doesn't matter. How many times I was there before don't matter. What matters is that I can finally do what I _can_ do, what _only I_ can do. And that I'm playing volleyball, with the people I want to play it with. And that's what matters to me.

"Do you understand?"

Ennoshita did. And he didn't. It felt like the words resonated with something deep in his chest, but his brain couldn't really process the words into something that made sense. He shook his head. He probably looked as confused as he felt.

Suga-san huffed out a laugh. "It's fine if you don't really get it yet."

"What a waste of a grand speech, if the audience doesn't get it."

"I said 'yet'. The 'yet' part is important. Like one of those 'you only get it after you leave the theatre' movies."

"The deep, philosophical type."

"Yes. You can say they're the 'boring ones', you know."

"I prefer high fantasy movies. Or action ones."

Suga-san actually laughed at that.

"Anyway, that's what I wanted to tell you," Suga-san said, wiping a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye while Ennoshita muttered how what he'd said hadn't been _that_ funny. "So. Yes, well. I should probably get going, I have a lot of material to revise yet today."

"Ah! Sorry for making you come all the way out here when you're so busy."

"What are you talking about, I was the one who called you out." He laughed. "Just think about what I said, alright? And don't give Daichi too much grief. At this rate I think he's going to turn bald before he's thirty."

*

It was a well-known fact that Tsukishima didn't do extra practice.

No sir, he did not. Even so much as speaking the words in his presence was enough to get him hissing and stomping about, and probably a few comments so corrosive they might as well be acid. Ouch.

Even after his short mentorship of sorts with Bokuto from Fukurodani and Kuroo from Nekoma, he still maintained that extra practice was too much trouble to deal with, and that only losers would kill themselves practicing for nothing. So Tsukishima did not do extra practice, no, he just "warmed up a little". Sometimes he "killed time" or "played around with a ball a little". It was getting cold, after all. And it could get boring during breaks. And if sometimes (almost every single time) someone else joined him, well. They were cold or bored too.

After the first time Nishinoya had carelessly made an "extra practice" comment to Tsukishima's face during a short "warm up session", and the ensuing three-day long quiet sulk, Ennoshita had made sure to quietly remind everyone now and then what the taboo words were and "please, please, don't upset him, you know how he is, don't make me go get the mop and hit you with it."

Not that Ennoshita and Tsukishima were very close, or anything. Ennoshita just tended to pay attention to things, and Tsukishima was the type that you really had to watch and make some concessions to, now and then. Not that they spent all that much time together or talked a lot.

It was not on purpose; somehow they just didn't seem to ever end up together much, and they'd never even been alone just the two of them before.

So it was a first when somehow Ennoshita found himself in an empty gym with just Tsukishima, who was practicing serves.

Steadily serving towards the same spots near the back of the court and along the sidelines, he seemed to be favouring accuracy and reliability rather than power. It was strangely relaxing to watch.

Sometimes when you think too much and just can't stop going in circles inside your own head, watching someone else do some kind of repetitive task could help you feel better. Other people often recommended watching fish swim. Ennoshita apparently liked watching serves. Figured. Clearly, being surrounded by so many volleyball idiots was finally starting to have its consequences.

Suga-san's words were still whirling around in Ennoshita's head. After thinking it over, he thought he could grasp what Suga-san had been getting at, but... he wasn't sure he agreed. He and Suga-san were very different.

As Ennoshita watched from his spot against the wall, near the door, Tsukishima picked up a ball from the cart, readied himself, then hit it over in a tense arc that easily cleared the net. Then again, and again, and again: pick up, throw, hit, pick up, throw, hit. Rinse and repeat.

Ennoshita should probably have been doing something. Getting started on homework. Studying. Giving back those notes he'd borrowed.

But he just sat, mind blank, and watched. Pick up, throw, hit. Pick up, throw, hit.

Eventually Tsukishima's cart ran out of balls, and he had to start picking them up. Even with just one person serving, they'd scattered all over, so there were balls across the entire gym. A pair of them sat near Ennoshita's foot, but he made no move to grab them. He expected Tsukishima to say something, like a request to kick them over. But the blond middle blocker didn't ask for help or throw a biting comment, he just got closer, picked them up, and went to put them back in the cart without a word or a glance towards his senpai.

Maybe that's what made Ennoshita blurt out what he was thinking.

"Have you ever thought about quitting volleyball?'

The only sign Tsukishima had heard him was the brief hesitation as he leaned down to grab a ball. He continued the motion and picked up the ball, then another two, before he replied. "I have."

Oh. Ennoshita hadn't actually been expecting an answer. "Why didn't you?" he asked again, thinking he should take the chance if Tsukishima was in a sharing mood.

A shrug. "...nothing in particular. I didn't actually have a reason to leave."

Ah. Now there was a typical Tsukishima response. Guess he wouldn't get much out of him about that. If Ennoshita had to guess, it would probably be related to the whole thing with Tsukishima's brother. Might as well ask something else.

"Why did you start playing in the first place, then?"

"No particular reason."

"I... see." Ennoshita nodded to himself. He didn't know what he'd been expecting Tsukishima to tell him. He figured that was it for their conversation then.

But Tsukishima went on, careful to keep his back towards Ennoshita as he picked up the rest of the balls, "I didn't really need a reason. Being in a club was mandatory in my middle school. I’m tall. It made sense." He shrugged, and threw a ball at the cart. It hit the rim and flew off, which had Tsukishima letting out an annoyed click of the tongue. "I don't think people really need reasons to start doing things like this," he added.

"That's..." Ennoshita didn't really know how to finish that.

"Trying too hard to be the best at something is a waste of effort, I thought. Being too desperate has never gotten anyone anywhere. Might as well just do this thing that I would naturally be pretty good at, rather than get myself into something I'd have to kill myself practicing until I was worth anything at. Hot-blooded idiots who do things like that are annoying."

Of course. That would be too uncool for the always calm and unambitious Tsukishima. And obviously, Tsukishima's older brother had absolutely nothing to do with Tsukishima starting volleyball, and would not be mentioned even in passing. Ennoshita tried not to sigh out loud.

"But I don’t think what you’re doing is bad at all."

That had Ennoshita's head whipping up from his shoes to search Tsukishima's face. That... that had been unexpected. And Tsukishima's expression was as serious as ever.

"What am I doing?" Ennoshita asked curiously.

Tsukishima scowled. "If you don’t know, how can you expect me to explain it?"

Ennoshita chuckled at that, feeling his previous brooding mood lift a little. He scratched the side of his chin sheepishly, considering his next words. Then he thought ' _to hell with it'_ and tried one last question. "What I'm doing... do you think it's something only I can do?" he asked, hearing Suga-san echoing the same words in his head.

Maybe asking a first-year was a little unfair. A first-year who clearly had his own troubles, even.

But Tsukishima stopped the dribbling he'd started to turn around and face Ennoshita with the volleyball held loosely against a cocked hip. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and raised his chin to look down at Ennoshita with a slight smirk. "How uncharacteristically gloomy of you, Ennoshita- _senpai_. What happened to all those cheesy movie lines about bravery and persistence?"

"I'm having a moment of contemplation and insecurity, _kouhai_."

"That's one long 'moment'."

"There's a lot to contemplate. And you're stalling. Or actually avoiding my question, maybe?"

"I was just surprised. Were all your wise words just lip service? That's disappointing."

Ennoshita narrowed his eyes. "Are you _trying_ to make me angry?"

"Yes," Tsukishima admitted simply. "Your advice is sound and your judgement is usually very impartial when it comes to everything but yourself. Cheesy movie lines and all. I posited that an outburst of temper might help you briefly see things as clearly as you usually do. It seems I wasn't very successful."

Ah, he really shouldn't have bothered his kouhai with his problems. It was easy to forget that Tsukishima, as intelligent and quick-witted as he was, wasn't comfortable with this kind of discussion. Even so, he'd tried to help as best as he could. Admittedly, he was a little rough around the edges, but his heart was in the right place.

Ennoshita smiled at him. "Sorry, Tsukishima. I shouldn't have dumped this on you. Thank you for trying to help."

That seemed to fluster the first-year, who unnecessarily pushed his glasses up his nose again, avoiding Ennoshita's eyes. "Not a problem, Ennoshita-san." He busied himself with picking up balls again.

Ennoshita got up and started helping him, but the mood was still a little uncomfortable. So he decided to try a little something for a change of pace. "You know what, how about a massage? Your shoulders are looking stiff."

Tsukishima whirled around to face him with alarm obvious all over his face. "There's no need!"

Ooooh, that was a nice reaction. "I insist!" Ennoshita cooed with glee.

And that's how Asahi and Tanaka ended up walking in on a scene of somewhat dubious nature.

"What are you doing?" Asahi asked uncertainly, eyeing them both where they were sitting by the bench. Tanaka just started laughing uproariously.

"Medicinal massages. I can do you next, if you want," Ennoshita offered with, he thought, extreme generosity.

"Will I have to be tied to the bench too?" Asahi asked, eyeing the hands stabbing into Tsukishima's shoulder muscles with apprehension.

"That's just for squirrely first-years that don't want to listen to their senpai," Ennoshita informed him with a tiny zen smile, Suga-san style.

"Ah," Asahi replied, clearly not very reassured. Maybe Suga-san exposure lost effectiveness over time.

"Well, I wouldn't mind a bit of a massage either," Tanaka said, having calmed down from his laughing fit earlier. "That spot on my back has been aching again."

"Sure. I'll just need someone to go get more cream, this tube is almost finished."

After a couple of rounds of mutual massages, all four of them reached practice later that day with explosive energy to spare, and thoroughly enjoyed it the whole time. For his part, Ennoshita was just relieved Tsukishima didn't seem to be bothered by their earlier conversation.

Actually, as they all left together later, Tsukishima quietly approached him to express his thanks for the massage. "It helped," he said nonchalantly, putting on his headphones.

Ennoshita smiled. "Any time."

*

That night, with his notebook in hand and cloaked in the fluffiest blanket he had while sitting on his windowsill, Ennoshita caught himself thinking about Ukai-sensei and that time he'd spent away from the team. He paused his writing.

He remembered Ukai-sensei yelling at them, how he'd frown at them from above while they lay panting, but then he'd crow loudly with cheer when someone did something good. Ennoshita thought back to how relieved he'd felt when he no longer had to toil endlessly under Ukai-sensei's unwavering supervision, seemingly to no avail, and how glad he'd been he didn't have to run in the stifling heat.

And how he'd hated every. Single. Second. Of it.

And he remembered the _look_ on Kurokawa-san's face, their captain back then, when he'd allowed Ennoshita to come back. He never wanted to see that face directed at him ever again.

He tucked his pencil in between some pages and looked down at his old notebook, almost full with all his ideas for his movies. Notes about special effects and make-up. Who he wanted to ask to play certain roles. And of course, the actual stories for the movies: happy stories, sad stories, funny stories, stories about magic and knights and bravery, and action and blood and cars... he had them all in there.

Ennoshita tilted his head back. Looked at the sky, watching his breath create short-lived white clouds in the cold air. The moon was only half-full, but so very bright.

He closed his eyes.

*

"What'chu doing?" Hinata chirped, approaching the bench where Ennoshita sat, helping Suga-san tape up his fingers.

He still looked a little like a spooked rabbit around Ennoshita, but he was clearly trying to behave as normally as possible. Holding the tape roll in his teeth, Ennoshita couldn't speak, but nodded at him, trying to look as calm as possible.

"Taping," Suga-san told Hinata with a small smile, which seemed to work wonders as usual. It was almost possible to see Hinata's raised fur settle down as he relaxed. "Do you need some too?" Suga-san asked.

"Not really... my finger _was_ bothering me a bit, but Kageyama said I'd forget about it if I kept playing and I really did!"

Ennoshita and Suga-san just stared in disbelief. Kageyama, apparently having heard the whole thing, stalked over to them with a grave look on his face.

Suga-san looked up at the approaching setter. "Kageyama... that's really bad advice..."

"What? It's what I do." Kageyama frowned.

"Of course it is." Ennoshita sighed.

"You're going to get a serious injury one of these days, Kageyama! Are you just ignoring everything that hurts?" Suga-san reproached.

"But Oikawa-san said..."

Meanwhile, Ennoshita turned to Hinata. "Can I see your hand, then?"

"Hmm," he nodded. "Here."

Ennoshita grabbed the offered hand and examined the red, cracked skin. There was no bleeding yet, but it didn't look too far off. "Yeah, you should tape at least this one before you continue."

"How?" Hinata blinked.

Ennoshita was a little taken aback. Hinata had never done it before? "You just... put some tape on it...?"

Blank stare.

"I'll do it for you." Ennoshita sighed.

Hinata looked at his hands. "But... if this needs taping, shouldn't Kageyama tape his too?"

Oh. Oh no.

Ennoshita got up and snagged one of Kageyama's hands, and then just stared in horror.

And that's how Ennoshita's brief water and tape-up break turned into a _really_ long break, with Kageyama squirming and yelping throughout the whole thing while Ennoshita taped almost all of his fingers.

Well, in the end the really long break ended up being something Ennoshita was very grateful for, because that day practice was particularly grueling. Coach Ukai was really stepping up the level, and it was starting to get hard to keep up with. Which was good! They needed to become better if they wanted to win at the Spring High!

But Ennoshita was nonetheless extremely relieved when it was finally time for practice to end.

"That's all. Go clean up and leave, we're done for today." Ukai-san dismissed the team. "Man, I'm tired. I'm going home. Can't believe I've got a night shift..." he mumbled as he left the gym.

"You heard the coach. Let's go. First-years, get the balls, then get the brooms," Daichi-san stepped up and starting directing everyone in the clean-up. "Kinoshita, Tanaka, the net..."

"Daichi, I'm going on ahead," Suga-san called from the door, already out of his training clothes and with his bag on his shoulder.

"Yeah, good work today. See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight!"

"GOODNIGHT," everyone in the gym called back.

Ennoshita and Narita were folding the net when Daichi-san came up behind them.

"Ennoshita, please stay when you're done. I want to talk to you."

Ennoshita gritted his teeth and stubbornly kept his back towards his captain as he continued folding the net. "I'm very sorry, I have to get home on time today. I can't stay back."

"Ennoshita..."

"Sorry, captain," and he started walking towards the storing closet, dragging the half-folded net behind him with Narita scrambling to catch up. He caught Kinoshita's piercing stare, and then he could feel everyone's eyes on his back, but he didn't stop until he was out of the gym, and out of sight.

"Chikara—" Narita started timidly as they worked to put away the net in its place neatly.

"I'm sorry, I— I'm sorry."

He didn't know what kind of expression he was making, but Narita nodded, and didn't say anything.

*

"Meatbun, meatbun, sweeeet meaaatbuuun," Nishinoya and Tanaka sang, impressively in tune, as they all dropped by Ukai-sensei's store on the way home after practice.

"Don't forget my manga tomorrow!" Narita yelled after Kageyama and Hinata as they waved goodbye to everyone and went their own ways.

"Don't be such a sourpuss, Narita-kyuuun," Tanaka crowed, hooking his arm around Narita's neck. "Good practice, good day, and now good food! This is the best. Sing with us!"

"What is there for him to sing? You just keep saying meatbun," Ennoshita pointed out, fairly reasonably, he thought.

"Chikara, when a man has to sing, a man has to sing! Who cares about lyrics!" Nishinoya lectured. He jumped at Tanaka's back and was easily caught, the two of them so used to doing it by now that they apparently didn't have to warn each other anymore. "What matters, is _feeling!_ " Nishinoya finished grandly, striking a pose atop of his mighty steed- serious expression, one arm outstretched towards the orange sky, the other holding his half-eaten meatbun to his chest. The whole thing was ruined by his frantic chewing.

"That so..." Ennoshita muttered, as the noisy duo belted out their meatbun hymn, with a laughing Narita trying to keep up.

"Don't question Nishinoya on manly stuff," Kinoshita advised. "We'll never hear the end of it."

Ennoshita huffed out a laugh, and the two of them followed the other three silently through the darkening road.

"You've been distracted," Kinoshita eventually said once he finished his meatbun.

"Not really."

"You've been moody."

"Not really?"

"The way you spoke to Daichi-san earlier..."

"That was... an accident..."

"And what happened to getting home on time? If you have time to come with us to buy meatbuns, then why couldn't you stay behind to talk to Daichi-san?"

"Hisashi..." Ennoshita sighed, feeling a little exasperated.

" _Chikara,_ " Kinoshita was not kidding around anymore. "If it's bothering you so much, don't you think it's time you talked to us about this? You being captain next year, I mean."

BAM! Bomb dropped, just like that.

He'd been deliberately keeping the whole thing to himself, and turns out Kinoshita knew. And if Kinoshita knew, then Narita did too, and probably Tanaka and Nishinoya as well. Maybe even the first-years. So Ennoshita's whole 'nothing is going on here, haha' shtick? Totally useless, all this time. And now, this. Out of the blue. Ennoshita wasn't ready for this talk.

It was really annoying, how Ennoshita's mental danger scan never warned him about stuff related to Kinoshita and Narita anymore. They'd been hanging out too much for too long, it seemed, his brain was immune to them by now. Or maybe it didn't register them as threats.

One of these days Ennoshita was going to give his brain alarm system a good talking to. Clearly it wasn't up to snuff. Ennoshita could have used some red lights and danger horns before this conversation, because he'd been caught totally unawares. What now?

"I don't know what you want me to say," he ended up saying, for the lack of a better response.

"How about we start with why you've been acting like this?"

"I don't know what you mean," Ennoshita said, keeping his eyes on the three guys ahead. They were quite far away from them now.

"Fine. Then why don't you want to talk about it with Daichi-san?"

"You know how he is. He starts talking and it's like our brains are infected by his I'm-the-captain vibes. Everything starts sounding obvious and reasonable and next thing we know we're obeying him blindly."

"Don't be melodramatic."

"I'm not being melodramatic, I'm being realistic."

"If what he says convinces you, it's because it makes sense, not because he has mind control powers. What's the real reason you don't want to talk to him?"

"I just don't get it! What's with this idea that I have to be— to be—," great, he couldn't even say it out loud, "That I have to be _it_ next year, why can't it be you? Or Tanaka? Or Narita? There's just no real reason it has to be me."

"We trust you—"

"Oh, don't even try that. You just don't want to be the one responsible for all the crazy! You don't want to be the one who deals with all the bullshit! You just want want to dump it on me and be done with it! I'm just like you, I'm useless! I can't do it! Why does it have to be me?!"

That's when Ennoshita noticed he'd been gradually raising his voice until he was yelling, and closed his mouth abruptly. And then his words replayed in his head, and his heart clenched painfully when he saw Kinoshita's lowered head, his trembling shoulders.

Ennoshita was just so _angry_ he'd lashed out, but he shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have—

He reached out a hand for his friend but Kinoshita looked up sharply, with disgust on his face.

"You keep whining about how you can't do it." Kinoshita growled. "If you spent half as much time actually preparing for it as you do sulking it wouldn't be a problem! What have you been doing? Is this about that time we left the team?"

"I..." Ennoshita clenched his fists at his sides, looked down and away.

"Kinoshita..." Narita called plaintively from where he, Tanaka and Nishinoya had stopped to look back at them. He made to approach them, but Tanaka held him back.

Kinoshita ignored everyone but Ennoshita right in front of him. "You think anyone cares about that still? You seriously need to get over yourself, Ennoshita. You need to get over it." Kinoshita's eyes pierced him right down to his core. "Aren't you just running away again?"

Ennoshita felt his face burn hot as humiliation and anger flared up in his chest. "Running? What running? Just because I don't think I can handle being captain—"

"So this is about your inferiority complex? Wow, you're simple. I keep telling you—"

"You're being unreasonable. Think about this. I _can't_ be captain."

Kinoshita growled. "Why not? So you aren't what you think a captain should be, well, _tough_. You'll be some other kind of captain! Because, surprise! Not everyone is the same!"

"Well then by your standards, anyone will do! Which just proves my point! Why shouldn't you do it?!" Ennoshita cried.

"No, no, no, Ennoshita Chikara, no. This is about you and your ego that somehow inflated in the negative direction. Next thing I know you'll be crying about how you're the worst person on Earth," Kinoshita sneered.

Ennoshita just gaped at him, so infuriated he couldn't even find words to retaliate.

"Really, if you think like this about yourself, what must you think about me and Narita?"

Oh, please. He had no right to call Ennoshita self-centered and then turn around and say that. "Don't make this about you!"

"You already did, what was it you said? That we just want to dump the responsibility on you? The truth is you think we're somehow useless for good, because we ran away that time. Isn't that what you think of me, of Narita? That we're no good for anything now?"

"Of course no—!"

"Just like you?" Kinoshita hissed, low and cutting, striking right at Ennoshita's heart.

Ennoshita breathed in, breathed out. "That is _not_ what I think of you two," he said, firmly.

Kinoshita eyed him, then gave a nod. "Fine. Yeah, I can believe that. You're not that kind of person. My problem here is that double standard. Why is it fine for us but not for you? It's kind of insulting, really."

Not much Ennoshita could say to that. He knew the distinction he drew between himself and Kinoshita and Narita didn't make much sense, but he _couldn't help it_ , it was there anyway. He tightened his grip on his sports bag and forced down his anger. Kinoshita had a point. "Well, sorry, then. I guess."

"You guess? Bit of a lousy apology, don't you think?" Kinoshita narrowed his eyes at him.

"Should I kneel and beg for forgiveness?" Ennoshita sneered. Keeping a leash on the anger was not easy, and Kinoshita's attitude was really not helping. Which, judging by the glint of amusement in his eye, he knew. It just pissed off Ennoshita even more.

"Sure, that would be a start," Kinoshita said easily.

GAH! " _What do you **want** from me?!_ " Ennoshita exploded at last. He didn't even know what the point of the whole argument was anymore! And why were they arguing about this out in the street in the middle of the night?!

Kinoshita just ignored his shouting and stepped closer, grabbing Ennoshita's shoulders. They looked right into each other's eyes. "I want you to talk to Daichi-san," Kinoshita said quietly. He shook Ennoshita's shoulders a little. "I want you to _really_ talk to him, you hear? _Talk_ to him. And think about this without those damn blinders on!" he got louder as he went on. "Stop running away! And quit being stubborn!" Kinoshita was almost yelling as he finished.

" _I'm_ being stubborn?!" Ennoshita was the one who'd been stalked for weeks!

"Yes, you are!"

That was it. Self-centered, selfish, coward. Weak. And now stubborn? Enough. Ennoshita had had enough.

"FINE!" Ennoshita yelled, and threw his hands up in the air. "FINE!" he repeated, and threw his bag at Kinoshita's face before turning around and sprinting back the way they'd come. Farther up ahead, Nishinoya, Narita and Tanaka starting calling back at the two of them.

"What are you doing?!" Kinoshita yelled after Ennoshita, perplexed.

"RUNNING, DAMN YOU."

*

Ennoshita turned the corner of the gym at maximum speed and barely managed to keep his balance, but he didn't even slow down. He kept going at full tilt until he reached the gym's door, where Daichi-san stood frozen in the act of locking up. Once he got closer, his knees gave and he fell on the ground, completely out of breath.

Daichi-san stared wide-eyed at Ennoshita's sudden appearance and his landing at Daichi's feet in a panting, sweating mess.

"Ennoshita...?"

"I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY DAMNIT!" he roared, and his fist hit the ground next to him with a painful bump.

"You keep telling me to be captain, even the others tell me to be captain, and you go on and on about it, shut up! What's with you? Like I've got any right to even be considered for this! Stop pushing your damn delusions on me! It's great and it's awesome and it's a huge responsibility and whatever, fine! I get it!"

He got up, and finally looked Daichi-san in the eyes, desperately trying to _make_ him understand.

"But I can’t do it! I can’t! I’m not you!" he cried.

"You don’t have to be me-"

"I have to be SOMETHING! And I’m not! I can't give them the support you do, out of the court or in it! Don’t trust me with this, Daichi-san, because I will screw it up, that’s what I _do_. I screw things up, I fail every expectation people have of me, even mine! I can’t- I _can't_ do this. Please don’t ask me to."

Daichi-san stared at Ennoshita, like he was examining every inch of his expression - or perhaps looking inside at his soul and finding the measure of him. And then he sighed.

The bastard actually _sighed_.

Ennoshita didn't know what kind of face he was making, but it was probably ugly. He was frozen on the spot, couldn't even turn away and run to go bury himself in a ditch and never-ever come out. He could only look down at his feet, face burning, eyes hot, and a string of curses running on repeat in his mind.

"No, no, wait, I'm sorry, don't make that face," Daichi-san apologized in a hurry. He brought a hand up to his hair and ruffled it hard, sighed again. "Look, here’s a secret. I have no expectations of you."

It was like the whole world started crumbling down right before Ennoshita's eyes.

"W-what?" he stammered.

Daichi-san smiled at him. "None. Not a single one to be seen. Because I have no particular aim in sight for you. Or this team. And you don’t have to have one either. I’m not asking you to start making plans for keeping the title or, or for world domination or whatever it is you think I’m asking. Sure, you should probably have an idea of what you're doing, but I'm not thinking about that. There’s just these kids here, alright, my— _our_ friends, and they need someone to look after them. It’s not about victory, or about reputation, or handing down the crown to someone worthy, or. It’s not that. It’s just that I look at everyone in this gym, and I think that I won’t be here with you guys anymore, but I always want you to stay the same. I want you all to be here, having fun playing volleyball, yelling at each other, throwing the principal’s wig around, whatever. And if I had to pick a guy that I know will be able to round them up and set them straight, and yell at them when they do something insane, and tape them up when they push too hard because they’re idiots, they’re total idiots— if I had to pick a guy to look after them and let them be the same they’ve always been, Ennoshita." He brought his hand up to grip Ennoshita's shoulder, and looked him right in the eyes, "That guy would be you."

Ennoshita just stared at him, gaping.

Daichi-san went on airily, "Also, you really have a twisted view of yourself. You're not like that at all. Man, you've got some issues."

He... didn't have to... what...

"Don't look at me like that. It's your fault you've been tying yourself up in knots about this when you didn't have to. Really, I'm just asking you to keep doing what you've already been doing, no more, no less. Okay, maybe a little more since you'll have to do paperwork and step up your game a little, but. Yeah, just... be yourself?"

Ennoshita looked at him incredulously.

"Wow, that sounded lame, yeah. But that's really what it is. Just be you. It'll be fine."

_It'll be fine_ , he said. Sure, just be yourself! Go right on ahead, I believe in you! With just this, it will all work out. He said it, and he smiled down at Ennoshita with bright eyes, obviously completely and utterly sincere.

So many people had talked to Ennoshita lately, saying so many different things. It all spun around madly in Ennoshita's head. He could almost see again Hinata in front of him, going _I really, really respect you!_ Suga-san telling him again how what mattered was _their_ choice. Tsukishima's quiet _I don't think what you're doing is bad at all_. And Kinoshita, just earlier: _stop running away_.

They all had talked to him about different things, but really it all meant the same: just like Daichi-san, they weren't asking him to do things that were impossible for him to accomplish. They just wanted... Ennoshita. Doing the things he usually did. Because, apparently, that was more than enough for them to believe in.

Ennoshita looked back at Daichi-san's face. His small smile was about a level 9000 on the calm and honest scale, he was really just telling Ennoshita exactly what he thought, not a hint of doubt in sight. Daichi-san really thought it would be fine.

And Ennoshita, damn his stupid, too-easily convinced brain, believed him. Damn it all, Ennoshita believed him.

And his stupid mental scan of danger? Silent as the grave. Not even a peep. Of all times to be silent...

Was this really alright? Were they right? Maybe they were. He'd been so sure before, so wrapped up in his own inadequacies, that even the idea of succeeding Daichi-san had been terrifying. The team _needed_ Daichi-san, and Ennoshita couldn't be that for them. But if he'd been wrong about what the team needed... could he be wrong about what he himself could do for them? Was it really alright for someone like him to even... try...?

Ennoshita laughed breathlessly. He gave up. He gave up on everything. He could never win against Daichi-san.

And maybe... maybe he didn't have to.

"Is there no way I can convince you to pick someone else?" he tried one last time, laughing into his hands.

"Actually, the team picked." Daichi-san informed him with a roguish smirk. "I know Coach talked to you second-years. Well, after that Tanaka and Kinoshita came to me and Suga, and then we all talked to the first years... And guess what. Everyone voted for you. Every single one of them voted for you."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone." Daichi-san grinned, all teeth.

"I’m going to strangle the lot of them." Ennoshita buried his face in his hands.

"Guess what, now you can. You’re the one looking after them now."

"God, you make it sound like you’re making me their father. I’m not ready to be a father, Daichi-san."

"Here’s another secret, Ennoshita-kun. No one ever is."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"I really, really hate you."

"I know that too."

"So who’s vice-captain?"

"That’ll be your choice."

"Can we get a new morning practice schedule set up?"

"You can do as you like."

"We still have to deal with the wig thing."

"And that’s your problem now. Isn’t it delightful? Ahh, freedom. I’d forgotten what it tasted like."

Whoever called it 'passing down the crown' should be shot in the face. This was passing down the _shackles_.

"You’re a demon."

"A free one. And on another note, is it just me or did you tell your captain to shut up at some point in your passionate rant?"

"Huh. Possibly."

"You've got a lot of nerve, brat..."

"I thought I was your next-in-line?"

"Don't sass me."

"I'd never."

*

Daichi-san bought him another meatbun on their way home. It was a clear attempt to bribe forgiveness out of Ennoshita.

It worked surprisingly well.

*

The truth is, not everything was settled just like that.

Ennoshita finally accepted that he was a possible choice. Alright, maybe more than just 'possible', and actually 'likely'.

He still had doubts. He still wondered how the hell he'd go about supporting his team on the court, let alone being captain in general. Something about paperwork? Being supportive? Improving his technique and stuff?

What Ennoshita decided, was that he'd do his best. Heh, he'd figure something out. Maybe he'd start with imitating the best person he could think of for the job – Daichi-san himself – and see where that took him. It might totally work. Maybe.

He was still terrified out of his wits.

He was afraid he couldn't do it. Afraid they were all wrong about him. Afraid he'd make some unforgivable mistake. Afraid he would run again. Some nights he had trouble falling asleep, just thinking about it.

But like Suga-san had said- that didn't matter. He _chose_ for it not to matter. Someone had to be the pillar of support that held the team afloat, and they believed Ennoshita had to be it, so his problems? They were not the most important thing here. His problems were obstacles he'd have to get over so he could do what his team needed him to do.

And _that_ was what mattered the most to him, the most important thing: what his team needed him to do.

So when that spectacular defensive move against Wakunan ended with Daichi-san leaving the court – after casually spitting out a tooth like it was nothing, that man was _scary_ – and Ennoshita was summoned by Ukai-san, he felt like his knees were about to give out. His legs were jelly. He almost slipped as he approached the court, he was shaking so hard. And in his stomach, his earlier meal churned around uncomfortably, apparently eager to look at his face again.

But Ennoshita kept walking. And as he entered the court, he realized some things.

Yeah, he wasn't Daichi-san. He couldn't be.

But Daichi-san wasn't there. _Ennoshita_ was. _He_ was the one standing on the court. There was no one else to do it, no one else to hide behind, so he couldn't run away. No time for excuses.

Time to do what only he could do.

"BRING IT ON!" he called out loudly so his voice rang through the entire gym, a shout of defiance against the players on the other side of the net, against the ones watching in the stands, a call for the rally to his teammates.

They would fight. They would win.

Ennoshita widened his stance and lowered his torso, eyes fixed on the target, the other side of the net.

_We're going to defeat everyone in this place, and go to nationals._

"BRING. IT. ON!"

***

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm C. Thank you very much for reading.
> 
> I can't believe it's finally over! I had fun, writing this, but also a hell of a time. There was a lot of staring at the screen crying inside. XD 
> 
> I also had a lot of trouble coming up with a title. Shout out to [spotthetitan](http://spotthetitan.tumblr.com/), who looked at Ennoshita's wiki article and suggested his name meanings: [Chikara (力) - Power; Ennoshita (縁下) - Below Destiny. Ennoshita's name comes from the expression "en no shita no chikara mochi" (縁の下の力持ち) which refers to a person who does a thankless task or who works without expecting credit.] That was too perfect to pass up.
> 
>  
> 
> I tried really hard to document what I see as a possible journey for Ennoshita in between the first time Noya suggests him as captain (the flashback in chapter 119) and when he steps into the court as Daichi's substitute (chapter 118). I think his mindset in these two instances is very different, and I always wondered how he might have gone from one to the other.
> 
> I'm quite satisfied with how this turned out, I think I managed to describe my idea for this quite well. I wish I could have done more, there were some revisions I intended to do that I think I forgot, but I ran out of time. I'm actually posting this after staying up all night writing it in a hurry and trying to proofread it too and trying to come up with the title. XD I might give this a make over when I get my laptop back in a few months. Anyway, I just hope at least one person out there will read this story and enjoy it.
> 
>  
> 
> Huge, huuuge thanks to my beta-readers, who looked over this monstrously long thing for me and gave me so much helpful advice on such short notice: [greenhouse-nurse](http://greenhouse-nurse.tumblr.com/), [eleventh-page](http://eleventh-page.tumblr.com/), [memordes](http://memordes.tumblr.com/), and most of all, the incomparable [spotthetitan](http://spotthetitan.tumblr.com/), who, besides beta-reading, was always there, coming to my rescue with a kind word or a helpful link. All of you: thank you so much for all your work. *bows* This wouldn't be half the story it is without you. Unfortunately, I didn't get the final draft beta-read before I posted it, so if the final result is less than satisfactory, it's all my fault alone. ^^;;
> 
> My thanks to my tumblr followers and all the anons who ever messaged me about this fic, suggesting titles, urging me to write or just answering my questions or panicked posts. You kept me going. You helped me finish. Thank you.
> 
> To my cat, who let me smush my face against his belly and poke his paw pads and generally make a nuisance of myself all over him without protesting too much because he's a sweetheart and I love him: you took away all my writing stress. I'll get you one of those cat food cans you love so much. 
> 
> My birb!Tsukki, who insisted on shelling out his seeds and spitting them all around his cage, making me get up and clean the floor instead of focusing on writing: you're an asshole. See if I give you any carrots. 
> 
>  
> 
>    
> After this is posted, I'll be without a laptop for a few months, so my online availability will be low, but feel free to comment or send me asks on tumblr ([volleyball-crow](http://volleyball-crow.tumblr.com/)).  
> There's also some other stuff, but to sum up: I won't be around much. So let me say in advance that I appreciate any and all comments, and kudos too! =D
> 
> Anyway. At least, at the very least, I wrote this story and posted it, and it will be forever here. I'm very happy about that.
> 
>  
> 
> And now, to finish in ~~the cheesiest manner possible~~ style!
> 
>  
> 
> _To the Haikyuu!! fandom,_   
>  _To Ennoshita Chikara,_
> 
> _And to all the Ennoshitas out there in the world,_   
>    
>  _this one's for you._


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